Yhem Speaks

There are certain things you may never add to a CV, yet they can carry you through life in ways degrees and titles sometimes cannot. The older I get, the more I appreciate these practical skills women quietly pass down to one another, often without calling them skills at all. They are simply things we grew up seeing our mothers, grandmothers and aunties do, but as life unfolds, you realize those ordinary things were actually tools, and many of them have saved us in ways we did not see coming.

Learning How to Do Hair
I have to start with this because this one is personal. My grandmother is the reason I learned how to make hair. She used to ask me to make her cornrows anyhow I could, and I smile now thinking about how casual she made it seem, because what felt like a little girl helping her grandmother was actually the beginning of a skill. There was no pressure to get the lines straight, no expectation to be perfect, just “do it,” and somehow that freedom made me keep trying until I got better. Looking back now, if not for my grandmother, I may never have learned how to braid at all, and today I can say that skill has served me more than I imagined, especially living abroad where making your hair once can cost what used to cover hair expenses for months back in Nigeria. It is funny how something learned in such a simple way can become practical survival later in life, because suddenly being able to touch your own hair, braid it, or manage it yourself is not just about beauty but about independence and every time I do my hair myself, I think of my grandmother and how she unknowingly put a useful skill in my hands.

Cooking Skills
Cooking is another skill I believe every woman should have, not because anybody is forcing old expectations on women, but because feeding yourself well is a form of competence. Some of what I know started in my mother’s kitchen.  Watching her move around with confidence, measuring almost nothing but getting everything right, sending me on little errands while I observed more than I realized, and that is how many of us learned in Nigerian homes through participation rather than lessons. There is something deeply valuable about knowing how to make a proper meal, improvise when ingredients are missing and put food together from what is available, because beyond saving money, cooking gives a kind of confidence and self-sufficiency that is hard to explain. In a world where convenience is expensive, this is one of those skills that keeps proving its worth.

Budgeting Skills
One thing adulthood will teach you very quickly is that making money is one thing, but managing money is another skill entirely.  I think every woman should know how to budget. Knowing how to stretch resources, plan ahead, spend intentionally and avoid financial chaos can save a lot of stress and honestly many of us saw versions of this growing up in our mothers, women who could make little look like plenty. There is wisdom in knowing how to handle money, and it is not always about having much but about managing what you have well because peace sometimes comes from not being careless with your resources.

Networking and Relationship Building
For a long time, networking sounded like one corporate word that did not belong to ordinary life, but I have come to see it simply as knowing how to build and maintain meaningful relationships. This matters for women more than we sometimes realize because life often moves through people, through conversations, through who remembers you, who recommends you, who shares opportunities with you. Learning how to connect genuinely, nurture relationships and move with emotional intelligence is a skill, and in many ways, it can open doors qualifications alone may not.

Home Organization Skills
I genuinely believe making a home feel peaceful is a skill that does not get enough respect. Knowing how to organize a space, make it functional, make simple things beautiful and create comfort is not trivial, it affects how people live and feel. Some women can turn even the simplest space into warmth, and that ability, whether learned through instinct or observation, is something worth having because a well-kept environment can quietly support your peace.

Knowing How to Shop and Dress Well
This is one skill I think people sometimes reduce to vanity when it is actually practical and deeply tied to confidence. Knowing how to shop well, choose pieces that suit you, dress appropriately for different settings and present yourself with intention is a life skill. Notice I did not say buying expensive things, because style is not the same as spending. Some women know how to make simple pieces look elegant, and that in itself is a skill. Dressing well can change how you carry yourself, how you enter a room and even how people respond to you. Like the saying goes, “the way you dress is the way people address you“, and while that may not be true in every case, there is wisdom in understanding presentation. It communicates before you speak. It can build confidence, open social doors and even attract certain kinds of people and opportunities. I have also come to see that shopping itself is a skill. Knowing quality, knowing what is worth paying for, knowing how to buy less but buy well. That kind of discernment saves money and elevates how you show up.

Makeup Skills
I am not talking about full glam and contouring like a professional artist, but basic makeup skills that help you put yourself together when needed. Knowing simple things that work for your face, understanding presentation and carrying yourself well are practical things that can come in handy more often than people think, and I have come to see it as one of those little skills that make life easier and builds self confidence.

Time Management
This one may not sound glamorous, but it is one of the most useful skills a woman can have. Learning how to manage time, structure your day and protect your priorities can affect everything from productivity to peace of mind. Adulthood can become chaotic very quickly when everything feels urgent, so learning how to organize yourself is not just discipline, it is survival.

Knitting, Sewing and DIY Skills
I honestly think we have abandoned too many old-school skills too quickly. Knitting, sewing, mending small things, creating simple DIY pieces for the home. These are practical skills that still matter because not everything needs replacing and not everything needs to be bought. There is something beautiful about knowing how to make or fix things with your hands, and beyond usefulness, there is creativity in it too.

Driving and Riding a Bicycle
I will always encourage women to learn how to drive if they can, because driving is freedom. It gives you independence and confidence in ways hard to explain until you need it. Even riding a bicycle, which may sound random to mention, is another one of those skills that quietly adds to your sense of capability especially if you live in a country where bicycles is a major means of transportation. Some skills are not about how often you use them, but about knowing you can.

Prayer as a Life Skill
I absolutely consider prayer a skill worth developing. Learning how to pray, build intimacy with the Holy Spirit, grow in discernment and stay spiritually grounded does not happen by accident. Like other things in life, depth grows with practice, and in my view every woman needs spiritual strength, because some seasons of life require more than practical wisdom. They require grace and mercy.

Learn Skills That Make You Less Dependent
If there is one thread running through all of this, it is that practical skills give a woman options, and options are powerful. Whether it is doing your own hair, cooking, budgeting, organizing a home, dressing well,  driving or praying through hard seasons, these things may seem ordinary until the day they save you, and often the skills that help us most are the ones women before us quietly passed down. Sometimes through correction, sometimes through example, and sometimes, like my grandmother did, by simply saying, do it anyhow you can and somehow that becomes a lesson for life.

With Stories Always,

Yhem 💞