Yhem Speaks

When people talk about success, their focus usually lands on hard skills. We talk about degrees, technical skill, and years of experience. Don’t get me wrong, all those things matter too. However, the things that carry me the farthest aren’t always the things I can list on a resume.

They’re the skills you can’t always measure. The ones no certificate can fully capture. The way you speak and the way you listen are important. How you associate with people matters. How you adapt when life throws you into unfamiliar waters is crucial. These are what we call soft skills.

The irony is that they aren’t actually “soft” at all. In reality, they are the foundation of how we communicate and form relationships. They play a crucial role in how we thrive, whether it’s in our careers, families, or daily lives.

My Journey With Soft Skills

For me, growing up in Nigeria taught me early lessons in respect. Greeting elders properly, listening before speaking, and showing humility. These were not just cultural expectations, they were life lessons. At the time, I didn’t know they were shaping how I would later navigate the world.

Years later, when I found myself in modern, global spaces, I realized those same lessons were my superpower. Respect translates across borders. Good communication breaks down cultural walls. Adaptability helps you thrive in unfamiliar environments. What I once thought was simply “good manners” became crucial. It became the foundation of how I built relationships. It also helped me advance in my career.

I’ve seen firsthand how soft skills create opportunities. A kind word often opens doors that hard skills alone can’t. A thoughtful email can shift the tone of a meeting. The ability to stay calm under pressure can earn you trust faster than a hundred qualifications on your CV.

I also learned that soft skills are not fixed traits, they can grow. Emotional intelligence, for example, came with experience. Learning to pause before reacting, to consider another person’s perspective, or to admit when I am wrong. Creative thinking flourished during times of constraint. When resources were limited, I needed to stretch my mind. I had to find another way ahead.

In every stage of life, soft skills have carried me. From the classrooms of Nigeria, respect was expected. In international workspace, adaptability is rewarded. One truth remains. Technical skills might showcase what I can do. Soft skills reveal who I am.

Why It Affects Relationship

Think about someone you enjoyed working with. Chances are, it wasn’t just because they were technically brilliant. It was because they communicated well. They respected your time. They listened to your ideas or showed kindness when you made a mistake.

Now, think about someone you didn’t enjoy working with. Maybe they had all the technical skill in the world. Still, if they were arrogant, dismissive, or hard to work with, you probably dreaded every interaction.

That’s the power of soft skills. They shape not just what we do, but how we do it. They affect how people feel about doing things with us.

Soft skills are often mistaken for “just being nice,” but they go much deeper. They include:

• Emotional intelligence — knowing how to manage your own emotions, while also understanding and responding to others. This helps you stay calm under pressure, show empathy, and build trust.
• Communication — not just talking, but listening, asking the right questions, and making people feel heard.
• Adaptability — the ability to adjust when things don’t go as planned without losing your balance.
• Creative thinking — bringing fresh ideas to the table. It involves solving problems in new ways. It lets you see possibilities where others see roadblocks.

These skills can’t be measured the way technical skills can. You don’t get a certificate in empathy. No one gives you a grade for adaptability. Yet, they are the very qualities that determine whether people want to work with you. They influence if others follow your lead or trust your judgment.

How I Continue to Grow

I don’t see soft skills as a checklist to finish, but as little lessons that life keeps teaching me.

Sometimes it’s as simple as holding back before sending a message I wrote in frustration. I take a moment to soften the tone. Other times, I choose to really listen to someone I don’t agree with. I do this just to see the world from their side. And often, it’s learning to work with people I may not particularly like. The truth is, not everyone will like me either.

There are moments when I fail too. I lose patience, I misread people, or I wish I had said less. But even in those moments, I get to learn something. They remind me that these skills are like muscles, you don’t perfect them, you just keep practicing.

For me, it also shows up when things don’t go as planned. I’ve had to figure out how to make do with less. I’ve improvised when resources weren’t available. I’ve thought on my feet in situations where there was no manual to follow. It’s not glamorous, but it’s real.

I’m still learning every day. I am not saying you need to be flawless at all times, no one is perfect, we are all humans. But try to choose handling situations with a little more care, thoughtfulness, and respect.

Lastly, we live in a global world. Technology connects us, but it’s these skills that keep those connections alive. You can work with someone halfway across the world and never have a major misunderstanding. The success of the collaboration is not just about the tools. It’s about how you both communicate and respect each other.

In fact, these skills are often what people remember long after the project or meeting is done. They forget the details of your report, but they’ll always remember how you made them feel.

At the end of the day, technical skills may open the door, but it’s soft skills that sustain the relationships and opportunities that follow. My hope is that we keep nurturing them, little by little, as we move through life.

Thank you for reading!

Yhem Speaks